


Still Me

by NoMansWindow2846



Series: Regression fics [1]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Carer!Arin, Fluff, Gen, Just all the fluff, Mental Regression, little!Dan, platonic egobang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 08:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9226811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMansWindow2846/pseuds/NoMansWindow2846
Summary: Dan regresses and Arin take care of him





	

Dan watched Arin attempt the same level for close to the 20th time, getting closer each time. Arin was telling a story Dan had heard plenty of times before and as the story wrapped up, Dan cleared his throat. Arin gave Dan a sideways glance before screaming expletives at the screen. As the level reset, Dan found his voice and spoke up, “Um, Arin, can I ask you something?” Arin glanced at Dan once more, giving a silent go-ahead. “Can I actually ask it after the episode?”

Arin shrugged before screaming once more, pointing to where he had died at for maybe the eighth or ninth time. “Did you fucking see that?! I had it! I was there! But no! Fucking Bowser had to shoot fucking fireballs at me!” Dan, who was used to Arin’s outbursts, curled in on himself just slightly. This went unnoticed by Arin as he continued to rant and rave about how he should have won. Dan caught Arin’s eye and mumbled something about him trying his best. Arin smiled slightly as he heard these seemingly incoherent mutterings of his co-host. As Arin touched the axe, killing all the enemies, he shouted about finally beating the hardest level he had ever tried.

Dan smiled at Arin as he danced in seat. Dan let out a light laugh before Arin signed off. Arin pushed the microphone away, standing and stretching before being his rant about beating the hardest level ever made in Mario Maker. Dan pulled the blanket tighter around his already compact form as Arin shouted loud enough to inform the whole office of his victory.

Arin caught Dan looking down and away from him, the blanket pulled up to his ears. “Oh shit,” Arin whispered. He looked around, no one had come in to congratulate Arin. Arin grabbed another blanket that had been left in the room and throw it over Dan’s head, covering all but his face. He took a step back to admire his work before whispering to Dan, “Hey. Is everything okay?” Dan gave a small shake that was then exaggerated by the blanket. “Can you talk or write?” Another shake, then a nod. “I’ll be back. I’m gonna get you a pad of paper and something to write with. I’ll, I’ll bring you something to drink. Milk?” A nod. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

Dan couldn’t hold it in anymore. Tears flowed from his eyes, silent sobs turned into quiet hiccups. He rubbed his ears, trying to quiet the world, but Arin left the door open and the noise flowed in and out of the space like a tidal wave. Before Dan could calm his breathing, Arin had come back with a legal pad, a set of colorful markers, and a small glass of milk. Dan stifled his hiccups, taking the cup in blanket-covered hands. He slowly sipped the cold drink, looking anywhere than Arin.

Arin took a seat on the floor in front of Dan, watching the milk slowly empty. Arin began sketching out the Game Grumps with the markers. Before he had finished the first Grump, Dan made a small noise in his throat. Arin looked up to an outstretched empty glass. He quickly took it, ripping the first page of the legal pad off and passing it to Dan.

Dan stared at the pad, dabbing new tears with the blanket. His hands shook as he tried to uncap one of the markers. Arin silently grabbed it and pulled the cap off, snapping it to the bottom of the marker. Arin managed a smile as he gave Dan back the marker. Dan began writing, his handwriting appearing worse than normal. Dan flipped the pad to show Arin.

Arin mumbled the words on the page, trying to decipher the scribbles on the page. He nodded, handing the pad back to Dan. He followed the requests on the page, climbing to his feet. He went through the list once more in his head, before actually following through. _One. Get Dan snacks._ Arin grabbed the glass as he walked out of the room. A few steps out of the room, Arin paused, went back and closed the door. He entered the kitchen area, poking around for some snacks that Dan would approve of. A smile crept on his face as his eyes looked onto a small box of Cheez-itz. Arin stayed in the kitchen for a few more moments before grabbing an orange from the fruit bowl and a water bottle from the fridge. Balancing the items in his arms, Arin opened the door to the recording room.

Dan lifted his head to the sound of the door closing. Standing next to the door was a half-smiling Arin holding snacks for him. Dan gave a quick smile before it fell off his face and his eyes drifted to the floor. He carefully listened to Arin move around the room, watching his fuzzy pink Hello Kitty pants coming in and out of view. The pants came into view for a few minutes, toes pointed to Dan, but Dan had no energy to lift his head. After, the pants left, the door opening and closing swiftly, but nearly silently. Dan pulled the blanket of his head before mushing it up into a make-shift pillow. He stretched the other one and curled into a ball on the sofa.

Arin sighed, staring at his workspace. Everything had a place, but still it was a bit disastrous. His eyes locked onto what he was after, a small rubber ball. _Okay, now something that moves._ Arin patted his leg with his free hand, staring at the area he had claimed as his own. Someone said something to him as he continues to scan. Someone, probably the same person, nudged him and handed him a small chain of silver rings. Arin’s mouth muttered a thank you, but his mind was focused on Dan. Arin crossed the second thing off his mental list of four things. He quickly hurried back to the room, where Dan had fallen sleep in the few minutes Arin left to get the toys. A soft smile crept on his face. Arin moved the hair out of Dan’s face before leaving to get the last half done.

Arin looked around the office, it was a normal work day. Everyone was doing their own thing, conversations spurting here and there. He said nothing as he sat down at his computer, looking for the right folder. Finding after searching for about three minutes, Arin pulled up one of the coloring sheets at random. He looked through the file, seven pages worth of coloring appeared on his screen. Arin smiled at his work, knowing Dan would love these, even though they were almost three years old. He quickly pressed the print button, waiting for the printer to start up before waiting by it. After collecting the pages and crossing the third item off his list, Arin walked back to the room. _One last thing._

Arin tapped the paper on the coffee table, aligning all the pages. He placed the on top of the pad, placing the markers on top of that. He turned off the lights and got comfortable on the floor, knowing Dan could be out for a while.

Dan woke an hour and half later to Arin muttering something to someone in the doorway. Dan lifted his head, hair matted to his wet face. The conversation ground to a halt as Arin waved the other person out of the room. Arin placed a hand lightly on Dan’s shoulder as Dan brushed the hair off his face. Before Dan could remember anything, his body automatically pushed into Arin’s hand, a sense of familiarity overriding his brain. Dan blinked away the sweat that dripped down his face, forcing his eyes to focus.

Arin gave a small smile to the older man. Arin cleared his throat and Dan’s ears seemed to perk up. “Hey, man. Good afternoon.” Dan, obviously still drowsy from his sudden nap, just leaned against Arin’s hand so much that Arin sat next to Dan, hoping to hold him up that way, but Dan just flopped into his lap. Arin let a soft chuckle escape his lips, “So it’s about 12:30. You slept for almost 2 hours. Um, do you want lunch?” Arin grabbed the pad and a marker holding them out for Dan.

Dan grabbed them before adjusting himself to an almost sitting position, but still leaned heavily on Arin. He scribbled something down before mumble nonsense and drawing a small piece of pizza. Or at least that’s what Arin guessed. Dan wrote no before trying to write out what he wanted. Arin guessed every few seconds and Dan simply pointed to the no before giving and pointing back to the triangle Arin thought was pizza.

Arin placed a hand on Dan’s hair slowly, watching Dan’s reaction carefully. When Dan didn’t pull away, Arin spoke up, “Is pizza okay? Do you want plain cheese?” Dan wrote yes and pointed twice. “Okay. I can get someone to order it if you want me to stay?” Another point to yes. “Do you want me to text them or call their name?” Text. “Okay. I’ll text Barry to order a pizza for us.” Arin quickly typed on his phone. A knock sounded on the door. Arin looked down at the pad. Dan was clearly pointing to no. Arin sent out another text along the lines of don’t come in.

Footsteps shuffled away and Dan pulled the blanket that was sitting in his lap around his shoulders. He paused and then threw the blanket around Arin’s shoulder as well. Dan turned and placed his legs over Arin’s before lowering them to a comfortable position for the both of them. As Dan began doodling on the pad, Arin leaned back, pulling Dan to the left. Dan glanced up at Arin every few minutes, before going back to his drawings. After what must have felt like eternity, another knock sounded. The door opened after a second and Barry came in, a pizza box in one hand. A quiet exchange between him and Arin was static to Dan’s ears as he just kept to himself.

 The door closed once more and Arin pulled the blanket off himself. Arin wrapped his fingers around the top of the pad and Dan released his grip. The markers following soon after. Arin nudged Dan off his lap as the younger man leaned forward and opened the box. The smell of grease and melted cheese filled the air in the small space. He chuckled lightly at the growl that sounded from Dan’s stomach. Arin carefully grabbed a hot slice and placed it on paper plates Barry had brought in. He passed the plate to Dan before taking a slice for himself.

Dan waited for the pizza to cool enough to not burn his mouth before taking a large bite. He chewed quietly as Arin muttered curses under his breath, blowing on his fingers. Dan rocked back and forth, enjoying the quiet of the room. As he finished his first piece, Arin handed him a room temperature bottle of water. Dan blinked, staring at the warm bottle in his hand. Arin seemed oblivious by this and continued to eat the pizza by himself. Dan looked up at the younger man, holding the bottle out a small amount.

Arin looked at the bottle, then Dan and back to the bottle, “I got before you fell asleep. It’s been out for like 2 hours now. Sorry.” Arin shrugged, turning back to his lunch. He heard the bottle click open, a smile flashing on his face. Before Arin could ask Dan anything, Dan cleared his throat. He put his plate down before turning to the man. “You need something?”

Dan shook his head, clearing his throat again. He took a deep, shaky breath before smiling, “Thank… you.”

Arin smiled, “You’re quite welcome. Is this what you wanted to ask me about?” A hesitant nod from Dan. “Did you want me to watch you?” A confident nod. “Okay. Well, that’s fine. Um, do you think we should have a sign or something to let me know that you are little?” A slow nod. “Cool. We can come up with something that’s easy for you. Are you okay now? Or do you still need me to watch me?” Dan nodded, paused, and nodded again. Arin gave a light smile, “Okay, well, I got some pages for you to color and I got some snacks if you wanna stay here for a while.” Arin handed Dan the pad, pages, and markers before continuing, “Okay. I need to know if something set it off or if it just happened.” The word _both_ appeared on the front of the pad. “Okay. Are you up for writing it?”

Dan quietly scribbled on the page. Arin looked over at the page every now and again before Dan finally passed the pad to him. _It just kinda happened, but then you kept failing the level and idk but then it wasn’t fun._

Arin read it over and over again, guilt pouring over him each read through. He opened his mouth, then closed it and back and forth several more times before he found his voice, “Oh, Dan. I’m sorry. I, I never, I didn’t know.” Dan gave a half smile before dropping it. Arin slowly reached out, watching Dan flinch ever so slightly. Dropping his hand back to his side, Arin sighed, running his other hand through his hair. “Shit. Um, sorry. Is there anything I can do? I mean, I can make up a sign for this. Other than that, I’m kinda lost. I mean, you’ve become little before and like I know how to take care of you when you’re already little, but I don’t know what to do when you first start.”

Dan slowly reached for the pad in Arin’s lap, causing Arin to move his upper body away. Dan scribbled his thoughts and Arin remained distant from the other man. He pulled in on himself as he heard Arin shift away. A few minutes passed and it seemed as if Dan was writing a full novel as the third page of the pad was flipped to the back. Dan glanced up but quickly turned his eyes back to the writing. Feeling triumphant at finishing his explanation, Dan puffed out his chest, flipped to the first page and handed it over to Arin.

Arin blinked, slowly grabbing the pad before reading over the words. Doodles took over half the first page and Arin glanced over the drawing before finding the first words. Arin took a deep breath before reading the words, some which were scribbled out.

_I can’t really tell when it’s gonna happen exactly, but I can feel when it’s a few minutes away, if that makes sense. But a way to tell you would be nice. Most of the time I am alone and I can take care of myself but I would ~~love~~ be ~~greatful~~ grateful if I’m ~~at the office~~ here that ~~you can~~ ~~anyone could look after me~~ you could make sure I’m okay. You can kinda tell when I ~~swicht~~ ~~swtich~~ switch over because a lot of the time I like to be in a ball. Loud noise are no good and you ~~reging~~ raging didn’t help the situation, it’s not your fault you didn’t know that I was little. Like I should have mentioned something after you won, but I couldn’t find my voice. It was just so loud idk what to do. Sorry._

 Arin flipped to the next page as Dan avoided any chance to look in Arin’s general direction.

_But a sign or obvious way because I’m almost ~~allways~~ always in a ball. I think if we had a pad like this in the room and a pen for it I could write down that I was little and we could ~~rap~~ wrap up the episode and then if you ~~could~~ wanted to, you could watch me. Again I can take care of myself. When I’m little I’m like 7, so I just need someone to keep an eye on me. Nothing major or like taking all your attention, just like every like 10 20 minutes just check up on me. Make sure I haven’t done anything too stupid. Like anything more stupid than big me. Does that make sense?_

Arin paused halfway down the second to glance up at Dan, whose body was turned away from the younger man.

_Something to know when I start becoming little or like ~~immedeatly~~ ~~immediatly~~ immediately after I become little, noises are awful to me. Idk what’s up but noises hurt. Like anything over a whisper is really painful. So if we’re in here and I just straight up leave, you know why. And another thing, I get sleepy some of the time. It’s like 30% of the time. And like today I’ll fall asleep. If I’ve slept for more than an hour, wake me up. One time I slept for like 6 hours and my sleep schedule was awful for the next week or so. Third thing is that I’m still me. I’ve had friends who treated me like a stranger or a baby, not like a grown man who just so happens to be like a 7-year old. Like I know you’ve tried to take care of me and I’m glad, but unless I’m like “help me. I need you to keep a close eye on me”, assume that I’m fine and would just like a quiet space to draw or color or watch stuff on my phone. Like sometimes you crossed a line but I didn’t know how to say it and I still don’t. Like how do I say “Arin, I love that you’re trying to help me but you’re a little too close to me” without seeming like I want to leave me? Idk. I hope any of this last bit makes sense._

_And like you said, you know how to watch after me, but sometimes it’s ~~overwelming~~ overwhelming and it hurts me more than it helps.  
Things to do when I’m already little:_

  * _snacks always bring snacks_
  * _something to draw or color like the pages you brought or this pad_
  * _my phone if it isn’t already here_
  * _give me room to breathe and keep the door closed  
like you can leave the room and I’ll be fine  
and like just come by every so often to make sure I’m okay_



Arin looked over the list on the last page for a few more moments before clearing his throat. Dan looked up, clearly previously lost in his thoughts. Arin handed the pad back before asking the question that bothered him since Dan started writing, “What about touching?” Dan cocked his head and Arin continued his thought. “Like sometimes you’re okay with touch and other time you flinch away. What’s with that?”

Dan thought for a moment before scribing down his thoughts. He turned the pad to Arin, but still held on. _Idk. It just happens. I can’t tell when it’s gonna happen or what causes it. But I’m okay with touching now._ Arin looked at the pad then to Dan and back, giving a curt nod.  Arin moved closer to Dan at a snail’s pace, but eventually he reached out and Dan moved closer to his hand. After felt like eternity to each other, Dan leaned into Arin and accepted the hug, placing his legs over Arin’s lap as before.

Arin pulled away first, stifling giggles, “So you want me to stay and watch you?” Dan shifted his weight, nodding slightly. Arin let his laughter fill the air, “Okay. We can stay for as long as you want. Now can you hand me the pizza? I’m still hungry.” Dan held the pad to his chest as he reached over and handed the pizza to the younger man. A thanks was murmured as Arin used the box as a plate.

Dan tilted his head slightly as he watched the other man eat his fourth slice of pizza. Catching his eyes, Arin smiled before Dan turned away and began drawing on the pad. As he rocked back and forth, he mumbled a few things that made no sense to Arin’s ears. But rather than pressing the issue, Arin let Dan draw in peace, enjoying the company and wondering if Dan would be with him on Game Grumps until they retired. Arin gave a small smile to the older man, who returned it, and in that moment, Arin knew they would be close forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Posting my tumblr exclusive fics here  
> Tumblr: sumide-fandoms.tumblr.com


End file.
